Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Ahhh, Look. I got a letter from Stella....

I received this e-mail today from a poor lady who is going to die. She apparently is going to leave me $5,000,000.00. Wow! That is so nice of her to think of little ol' me in her time of passing.

Here is the letter...

"FROM : MRS STELLA TRICIA COLLINS

MY DEAR BELOVEN ONE IN CHRIST I AM THE ABOVE NAMED PERSON FROM ABIDJAN THE CAPITAL OF IVORY COAST. I AM MARRIED TO LATE TOM COLLINS OF BLESSED MEMORY WHO WORKED WITH KUWAIT EMBASSY IN ABIDJAN FOR NINE YEARS BEFORE HE DIED IN THE YEAR 2005. WE WERE MARRIED FOR ELEVEN YEARS WITHOUT A CHILD. HE DIED AFTER A BRIEFILLNESS THAT LASTED FOR ONLY FOUR DAYS.BEFORE HIS DEATH WE WERE BOTH VERY BORN AGAIN CHRISTAINS. HIS SUDEN DEATH RISE MY BLOOD PRESURE WHICH NOW LEAD TO MY STROKE DESPITE MY FORMAL CANCER FIBROID AND TUMOUR WHICH I USE TO SOFFER WHEN HE WAS ALIFE .

WHEN MY LATE HUSBAND WAS ALIVE HE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF ($5.MILLION U.S. DOLLARS) WITH ONE OF THE COMMERCIAL BANK HERE IN ABIDJAN.PRESENTLY, THIS MONEY IS STILL WITH THE BANK.RECENTLY,MY DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT I WOULD NOT LAST FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS DUE TO THOSE PROBLEMS. THOUGH WHAT DISTURBS ME MOST IS MY STROKE SICKNESS. HAVING KNOWN MY CONDITION I DECIDED TO DONATE THIS FUND TO EITHER A CHRISTAINS ORGANISATION OR CHRISTAINS INDIVIDUAL THAT WILL UTILIZE THIS MONEY THE WAY I AM GOING TO INSTRUCT HERE

(1).I WANT YOU TO USE THIS MONEY IN ALL SINCERERITY TO FUND CHURCHES, ORPHANAGES,WIDOWS AND ALSO PROPAGATING THE WORD OF GOD AND TO ENSURE THAT THE SOCIETY UPHOLDS THE VIEWS AND BELIEFS OF THE HOLY BIBLE. THE HOLY BIBLE EMPHASIZED SO MUCH ON GOD GOODNESS AND THIS HAS ENCOURAGED ME TO TAKE THIS BOLD STEP. I TOOK THIS DECISION BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY CHILD THAT WILL INHERIT THIS MONEY.I DON'T WANT A SITUATION WHERE THIS MONEY WILL BE USED IN AN UNHOLY MANNER. HENCE THE REASON FOR TAKING THIS BOLD DECISION.

I KNOW THAT AFTER DEATH I WILL BE WITH GOD THE MOST HOLLY AND THE MOST MERCIFUL.AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR REPLY WITH YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS,SHALL FORWARD TO YOU THE CONTACT OF THE BANK. I WILL ALSO ISSUE YOU A LETTER OF AUTHORITY THAT WILL PROVE YOU AS THE ORIGINAL- BENEFICIARY OF THIS FUND. I WANT YOU AND THE RELIGHON COMMUNITY WHERE YOU RESIDE TO ALWAYS PRAY FOR ME. MY HAPPINESS IS THAT I LIVED A LIFE OF A TRUE DEVOTED CHILD OF GOD WORTHY OF EMULATION. WHOEVER THAT WANTS TO SERVE THE GOD MUST SERVE HIM IN TRUTH AND IN FAIRNESS.LEASE ALWAYS BE PRAYERFUL ALL THROUGH YOUR LIFE.ANY DELAY IN YOUR REPLY WILL GIVE ME ROOM THINKING OF LOOKING FOR ANOTHER PERSON.

UNTIL I HEAR FROM YOU, MY DREAMS WILL REST SQUARELY ON YOUR SHOULDERS.MAY THE ALMIGHTY GOD CONTINUE TO GUIDE AND PROTECT YOU.

REGARDS,YOUR SISTER FROM : MRS STELLA.T.COLLINS"

LOSER!!!!!!!!! Learn to spell when you send spam!

-OD

2 comments:

Nonchalant Savant said...

It must be true. It's in all caps.

Anonymous said...

Guess what? I got the same letter,BUT------it was from Ruth HA what a joke
Mom